Preparing Your Child For College: Beyond Bed, Bath & Beyond

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By Melissa Ronan, Pelham Together Board Member

With all of the uncertainty about whether colleges will have live classes and whether they’ll even have students back on campus, students – and parents – are feeling anxious about the fall semester. For freshmen who will be living on campus, there’s the added anxiety of starting a new school, of living with a roommate you barely know, and of trying to make friends. Homesickness may also be an issue. And, unfortunately, college is a period where many young adults begin to experience mental health issues for the first time.

There are steps parents can take to prepare their children for the fall, whether they’re going away to school or staying home and taking classes remotely. If you haven’t already, start conversations with your child about mental health. Send them an article you’ve read about college students and mental health, or simply ask them whether they’re feeling any depression or anxiety about starting school. Yes, it may be awkward. But, if they’re feeling down or anxious or overwhelmed, this will open the door for them to talk to you. They may not respond right away. But in the next few days or weeks, or even a few months from now, your raising the topic now will make it easier for them to raise it later.

If your child does express negative feelings, try to listen without judgment. And without panicking. Approximately one-third of college-aged students are diagnosed with a mental health condition.[1]  If you’re prepared for this possibility, you’re more likely to stay calm, guide your child to helpful thoughts and supports, and provide the emotional support they need.

Be proactive -- research the mental health supports that are available on campus now. This isn’t always as straightforward as it sounds. Usually it’s fairly easy to find the counseling center under the “student” tab on the school’s website. But schools often have secondary resources that can be valuable supports. Try searching for “behavioral health” or “wellness.” These pages may offer educational materials about mental health issues, links to school clubs or organizations that provide support, and tips for coping. Many schools have some type of student-run mental health organization, whether it’s a chapter of the national group Active Minds; a campus-wide texting support app; or a support group that meets regularly.

If your child decides to seek help from the school’s counseling center, there may be a wait. Typically, the counseling center will schedule an intake appointment within a day or two, but this will be a “triage” assessment – enabling the counseling center to figure out how urgent your child’s needs are and how quickly they need an appointment. At some schools, your child may have to wait weeks for their initial appointment. They will be assigned to a counselor and will likely be allowed a certain number of visits before “maxing out.”

 If your child’s school has a wait list, or if their challenges are chronic, you may want to encourage them to find a therapist off-campus. The school usually has a list of providers who are convenient to campus. If you want to use insurance, you can search your insurance company’s website for covered providers in that area. Psychology Today online offers another way to find a local therapist; it provides filters to help select by insurance type; cost; ethnicity; and other criteria. In some cities, Zencare.com provides a search similar to Psychology Today; the therapist profiles frequently have video introductions which allow you to get a better feel for whether they might be a good fit.

If you would like help with finding a provider near your child’s campus, please feel free to contact Melissa Ronan, LMSW, a licensed social worker and Pelham Together volunteer, at melissaronan@verizon.net or 914-621-8948.

[1] Gold, Jessica. “Coronavirus Might Worsen the College Mental Health Crisis: Can Apps Help?” Forbes, August 13, 2020, found at https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicagold/2020/08/13/coronavirus-might-worsen-the-college-mental-health-crisis-can-apps-help/#370ac9d0559e.